Feeling Insecure Can Be a Gift
Does God have a preference in calling the insecure?
I’ve been rereading the story of Moses, one of the greatest leaders known to humankind. Moses’ leadership was exemplary: a beneficial model that has – and continues to – inspire and demonstrate valuable leadership principles for leaders throughout the world.
The story of Israel’s deliverance from slavery, their miraculous escape through the Red Sea, and Moses’ excellent guidance for this obstinate people in the seemingly impossible circumstances of forty years of wandering in the wilderness, show us Moses as an exemplary leader well worth emulating.
However, it’s easy to reflect on the outward successes of Moses’ leadership and miss his internal struggles.
But Moses said to the Lord, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.” — Exodus 4:10 ESV
I’m certainly no Moses, but I relate with his words!
As a child, I stuttered. My speech impediment inspired mocking from my classmates. Aside from being embarrassing, the internal angst created by my stammering encouraged me to withdraw.
When my teacher would ask me a question, even if I knew the answer, I chose silence rather than risk embarrassment. With patience, practice, and persistence I was able to overcome stuttering. However…
…Insecurity is far more challenging than overcoming a stammer!
What is there about “insecurity” that seems attractive to God?
The twelve disciples Jesus chose, the great leaders we observe in history, and even the CEO’s of Fortune 500 companies are well familiar with a sense of inadequacy. Those who tell you otherwise are not worth trusting.
We’re taught that overcoming our insecurity is essential. Yes, it is beneficial to make sure that our timidities do not impede us from moving forward.
However, let’s not ignore the value of insecurity.
Moses’ self-doubt continually reminded him to rely on God. As significant as Moses was, he recognized his competency was too little to change the heart of Pharaoh, part the Red Sea, or quiet the grumbling voices of ungrateful followers.
My sense of inadequacy inspires me to know that God sees something in me that I fail to see in myself!
Although I’m convinced others may be more qualified, capable, and suitable than me, insecurity becomes the soil where trust grows, inspiring me to obey, whether I feel like it or not.
I’m thankful I was able to overcome my speech impediment. I’m also grateful for the gift of insecurity that encourages me to trust God to accomplish in and through me, that which I cannot.
Does insecurity keep you from responding to what’s necessary? Perhaps viewing a sense of inadequacy as a gift will free you to take the next step in obedience.
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